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Monday, September 8, 2014

One Year

One year. What is it about one year that seems so short but so long? This timeframe is really stuck in my head right now. I have started a new job that has turned my works upside down. I am no longer at my own home every night, I am no longer sure where I will be working the next week. It feels as though everything has changed.
So why does one year matter? Well my new boss has promised that if I can stick it out for one year, I will be able to get into the side of my new job that I am actually looking forward to. For those who don't know, I'm a social worker, and I specialize in nursing home and subacute rehab work. I have gone from working full time in a building ten minutes from home to now I am temporarily assigned to a building one hundred miles from home. Traveling for work sounds awesome. And sometimes it can be. But when it is every week, when you aren't sure when you can see your friends and family for any meaningful time, it gets tough. 
Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful for this opportunity. I am now a consultant. One of the few opportunities for a social worker in my field to actually have a chance at advancement and management. But first. First I have to make it through one year. Our business is growing (yea!) but for now we just need workers. People to be in various building as interim. So that is what I am doing. And it will be okay. It will be a chance to see how my various relationships change, whether strengthening or showing that maybe they weren't so strong to begin with. 
How will your life change in the next year? Maybe a first child? Maybe moving homes or cities or states? Maybe there will be a loss, of a friend or loved one? It's so hard to say. 
I can look back on years in my life and it seems as though things were standing still. And other years you can barely tell that the beginning and end belong to the same person. Honestly, I think this will be somewhere in the middle. At least that's the goal. 
So what now? Now I take it one day at a time. Now I use this opportunity to learn new things, hobbies, skills, and new ways to communicate. Now I listen. To music, to those around me, and to things unseen. 
This could be quite a magical year. *fingers crossed*

For this year - for the hope - for my brain as it runs away with me - "Heathen" by Jillette Johnson


Cinder blocks around my brain
Came to mock but I remain to

Pray, oh, pray
Am I talking to myself, 
Talking to myself
Or brother are you with me?

The muscle of a temperate breeze
Could KO my philosophy

And I feel it shake, 
I feel it shake
I'm at the belly of a well, 
Talking to myself

Lover can you lift me?
Baby, are you still awake, hey, hey
Can I tell you about my night screams?
Would you teach a heathen how to pray?

Cinder blocks around my brain
Came to mock but I remain to

Pray, oh, pray
Axion shake, but I came to pray
I'm at the belly of a well, 
Talking to myself

Lover can you lift me?
Baby, are you still awake, hey, hey
Can I tell you about the night screams?
Would you teach a heathen how to pray?

Oh, brother are you with me?
Baby, are you still awake, hey, hey
Can I tell you about the night screams?
Would you teach a heathen how to pray?
Would you teach a heathen how to pray?
Can I tell you about the lightning
Can I muster up a little faith?

Revelation

Do you ever have one of those moments? You know, the moments where something beautiful is revealed to you? When you finally see what is staring at you?
I had one today. I'm at work, in the middle of a dozen messes that I am trying to handle. I'm tired, sick, and quite cranky. I look at my phone and see the texts I have. And then. Bam. It hits me. 
I am so ridiculously blessed! Seriously! I have an amazing husband who puts up with me and supports me in all I do. I have family that is always there. They encourage and help me through everything. And then I have my other family. You know, the one you choose. My friends. I know that I could not keep moving forward without this amazing group of people. I don't often say it, but I do believe that God has brought us all together. Why else would a group of people put up with my complaining, constant texts, and crazy ideas?
Seriously. I couldn't be luckier. 
My goal is to keep remembering this. 
So thank you. Thank you to my husband. Thank you to my family. Thank you to my friends.

So for them - I give you "If You Can Hear Me" by Ben Rector


Sometimes the devil sounds a lot like worry
Treading a well-worn path into my soul
And it don't sound evil oh but my heads burning
And I know

So if You can hear me
I could use You right about now
If You can hear me
I could use some peace

Because the devils walking in my soul
And all I really want to know
Is You can hear me
You can hear me

Sometimes the devil sounds a lot like Jesus
Telling me I'm not enough
But I don't believe it, no no. But I can feel it
And I need You so, yes I need You so

So if You can hear me
I could use You right about now
If You can hear me
I could use some peace

Because the devils walking in my soul
And all I really wanna know
Is You can hear me
Is You can hear me

I believe that there is someone watching over me
And I believe that is enough
Cause I believe it don't make it easy
So I need to know that You can hear me

So if You can hear me
I could use You right about now
If You can hear me
Could You send some peace

Because the devils walking in my soul
And all I really wanna know
Is You can hear me
Is that You can hear me

Can You hear me?

Can You hear me?

Can You hear me?
Can You hear me?

Because the devils walking in my soul
Can You hear me?
Can You hear me?

Sunday, September 7, 2014

My favorite things....

If you haven't already noticed, I listen to a lot of musicians that are not on the top charts.  Won't lie, I have a lot of friends that like to make fun of me for listening to such obscure music.  I'm good with that fact.  I have a hard time putting into words the type of music that I love.  Basically.  Good music.  I have discovered that I have an easier time describing why I love smaller artists.

When you see artists at smaller venues, there is something magical that happens.  You get to experience something that you never see at large venues.  Don't get me wrong, there is a high that you can get in arenas.  An adrenaline rush that is found thanks to being part of such a large crowd.  But it doesn't compare to small shows.

When you are at a small place and the artists get going, there is conversation.  There is engagement that you can't get in a large place.  The artists listen to what you want to hear, they play things that they haven't performed before.  I was at a show and once the artist got used to the whole listening room vibe, we got to hear partial songs.  Now some people may not be a big fan of this - but I loved it.  To hear the process start, to know that one day we will get to hear the finished product - it's amazing.

Even better.  When you have artists sharing a stage, there is another piece of magic that happens.  This was emphasized for me when we were at Down the Hatch.  Many of the artists there were good friends and collaborate regularly on music.  So when one was performing and another got a hankering for it, they would run up and join them on stage.  No practice, no choreography, just magic.  The harmonies, the joy, the beautiful music.  It was amazing.

This is what we get to experience when we go to small venues and see artists who maybe haven't hit it huge yet.  To buy their merch and know that you are actually helping launch someone who has such talent and passion is wonderful.  I wouldn't trade listening rooms and other small venues for anything.  If you haven't been to show like this, I encourage you to seek one out.

At DTH I had the pleasure of seeing a lot of amazing artists.  Two of them were Keaton Simons (who I had seen before) and Tony Lucca (who I had tickets to see later in the summer).  They were both awesome at what I described above.  Interaction with the crowd and with other musicians.  Here is a video of them performing together.  It really doesn't get better.


(the group shot at DTH)
 
 
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